Learn How to Be Assertive

Assertiveness is a trait that many people never bother to improve in themselves. Many people think that being assertive is being arrogant and selfish. It is this kind of thinking that prevents people from trying to develop an ability that can be very essential to success.

A basic understanding of how it is to be assertive may be required. The wrong impression or idea of what assertiveness really is can rob one of taking all the necessary steps in trying to improve such an ability and further succeed in life.

Tom put it simply, assertiveness is that uncanny ability to express what you feel and trying to protect your rights, all without trying to step on the rights of others. Being assertive is actually being direct, open and honest in communicating what you feel is right.

There nothing arrogant about being assertive. But true enough, there is a fine line between the two and that line is respect. To be assertive is to try and earn respect while at the same time trying to respect others. Failure to give that same respect to others is being arrogant already.

Being assertive can do great things for your personality. Acting assertively can do a lot to your self-confidence. Being assertive can also increase your chances of of building honest relationships with people around you. You may also be able to develop self-control as well as feel better about yourself by being assertive.

Being assertive can help you become a better decision maker. And the most important reward in being assertive is that you may be able to have what you think is your due. It will take your assertiveness in order to get what you really want out of life.

But how do you make yourself become more assertive? Here are some tips that may be able to help you:

Practice with a good friend. This will help you build up your confidence and practice and hone your approach without the whole task becoming a retaliatory exercise. Approach a willing friend and role play with him. Practice being assertive by thinking up a variety of situations that would require you to stand up for your rights. Knowing that it is all an exercise would further bolster your resolve to become ore and more assertive in your approach later on when you engage yourself in actual situations.

Try to believe that you are as important a person as any other. You have your own needs as well as deserving respect, just like any other person out there. Believe that you have every right to stand up for what you think is your right due and be able to express it. This change in thinking will be able to help you a lot in being able to act assertively.

Learn to express your feelings and to criticize. But do it in a way that you think won’t be stepping upon another person’s respectability. Always remember that a fine line exists between being assertive and being arrogant. Be reminded that your actions will have consequences. Try to also determine when to be assertive and when not to. There are some instances that being assertive may be unhelpful to your cause.

Ask for an explanation whenever someone tries to make you do something that is unreasonable.

Try to be brief and quick with your replies. Always look at the person that you are talking to in the eye. Try not to exhibit negative signals through your body language such as slouching or frequently shuffling your feet.

Try to be decisive. Always stand by your decisions. Avoid being apologetic. Say “no” when you really mean it.


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