Talking with Your Teen About Sex

Sex is an integral part of our life–it affects us holistically. With this comes the recognition that sex will also have the same impact on our teens’ lives, especially as they go through adulthood. They will have to understand that sex is not merely the physical act of intercourse with another person. Moreover, they also need to understand that the decision to have sex cannot be made haphazardly.

There are a good many things that our teens need to know about sex. You, as a parent, should be the one to tell them about it. Admittedly, talking to your teen about sex can be a little uncomfortable, but this is all part of being a parent, so you might as well deal with it. Here’s how:

Start early

Teach your son or daughter information about sex-related matters even at an early age. This would make it easier for them to understand the basics of sex in a gradual manner. Moreover, this move on your part will help to ease the discomfort of talking about a sensitive topic with your son or daughter.

Make the first move

Be the one to initiate conversations about sex. Try subtle things, like seeing a pregnant woman and asking your son or daughter what he or she knows about how the baby got inside the mother’s womb, or something to that effect.

Communicate openly

It is not enough for you to talk and talk about sex if you don’t know whether your message is being effectively understood by your teen. Sit with him or her once in a while and ask questions. Listen and let them do some of the talking. Avoid being too structured as this would create barriers between you and your teen.

Share your values

Emphasize the fact that couples should have a special, exclusive, and intimate relationship before they can engage in sex. This is to make your teen comprehend that sex has depth and meaning and it shouldn’t be done just to satisfy the curiosity of two people.


How you convey the message to your teen is as important as what you said to deliver the idea behind sex. Do not be too uptight. Learn to loosen up a little. Talking about sex with your teen is a rite of passage for you as a parent, but do not overdo it. Just do your part but do not force your teen to adapt your personal values and beliefs and perceptions about sex.

These tips aren’t guaranteed to make your teen celibate until they reach the age when they can handle sex and sexuality issues on their own. It is still up to your teen whether he or she will allow you or the other external influences to shape his or her notions about sex.