Keep Your Sex Life Alive Post Kids

After the first child is born, parents are still able to have their ‘alone’ time. They can take turns caring for the baby and resting afterwards.

But after baby number two arrives, say goodbye to your sex life at least for a while. Do the math. You got one infant + one rambunctious 1- or 2- year old + two parents = no time for pretty much anything.

Fortunately there are ways to re-ignite your sex life. Anne Semans and Cathy Winks, co-authors of The Mother’s Guide to Sex have the following suggestions.

Baby steps

Realize that you won’t be able to have much time for intimacy for a little time. What you can do is change your idea of intimacy. Long kisses and sweet touches in the mornings and at night could be your "sex" for now. Sure it’s not quite sex yet, but it’s a start.

Quit the baby talk

Another way to rekindle your intimacy fire is to stop talking about the kids all the time. It may be hard, simply because your lives are basically all about them now, but you have to think to do so, at least every now and then. Take this time to talk about things you used to talk about. It’s important to have these regular intimate talks.

Revisit your adolescence

Remember how you used to be when you were younger and no one’s in the house? Well revisit that, only this time instead of parents or siblings, it’s your kids who are not around. When the kids are with the nanny or a relative, take that time to drive around, perhaps go somewhere and well, be like a young adult again. It can be quite exciting and fun to revisit adolescence again.

Forgotten bedroom

You don’t always have to do it in your bedroom. What with precious little time in your hands, you and your husband can go lovey dovey in your living room, your den or wherever you feel like it.

Accept the hiatus

Lastly, accept that you do have to take some time off from sex. Your body needs to heal. After all, carrying a baby for nine months plus giving birth is not exactly an easy task, and your husband definitely understands.


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